January 27 - "The Raft"

“The Raft”
by Peter Orner
New Sudden Fiction (2007)

* * (Okay) Realistic

The narrator’s grandfather has a story he wants to tell - a story he has never told anyone - again. It is the story of a raft his destroyer came across one night in the ocean during WWII, and the decision he made as commander of the ship.

This is an example of a story that could have used just a bit more information, a bit more length. The problem with some sudden fiction is that it might not include the magic that can occur in those few extra pages. It felt almost like an outline for a greater tale. Coincidentally, this story has another of those moments that makes me question how I’d act in a similar situation (see yesterday). There was also some nice work done with the dialogue between the grandfather and narrator. I simply wanted more.