February 2 - "Lars Farf, Excessively Fearful Father and Husband"

“Lars Farf, Excessively Fearful Father and Husband”
by George Saunders
Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren’t as Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, Creatures from the Sky, Parents Who Disappear in Peru, A Man Named Lars Farf, and One Other Story We Couldn’t Quite Finish, So Maybe You Could Help Us Out (2005)

* * * * * (Excellent) Children’s

After Lars Farf returns home, to find his home, burned to ash, he sets about protecting his family, first from fire and then water, later attacking every possible scenario of disaster or destruction with a system or strategy to quell his ever-expanding fear.

As an obsessive I found this story to be absolutely hilarious – and nearly actually plausible. The joy in the story comes from the snowball effect of worry. One crazy idea builds upon another until the far-fetched has become reality and Lars Farf can justify placing his family in Personal Protection Pods for their own wellbeing. Saunders has always intrigued me as an author; I’ve read positive reviews of his work – purchased some – but not yet explored his talent. That is one of the joys of this project; I can sample those authors I’ve put up on my shelf, yet passed over in favor of the newest, brightest, shiny thing.

I have to include a sentence to show you the absurdity and humor packed into this little gem.

“Also he hired some Snake-Dog-Bear-Wolf Monitors, to make proactive Scouting Missions into the woods around the house, and hired a team of optometrists to constantly check the eyes of the Snake-Dog-Bear-Wolf Monitors, so the Monitors wouldn’t miss anything, and issued an order that not only must all snakes, dogs, bears, and wolves be apprehended, but anything even vaguely resembling a snake, dog, bear, or wolf must be apprehended, including, but not limited to, all snake/dog/bear/wolf-resembling sticks, branches, stones, and/or boulders.”

This is a perfect example of why I enjoy reading – and writing: sentences of such structure and fun, working together to create awe and wonder.